When I call a doctors office to make my first appointment, I usually inform them that there are two Susan M. Webers in town. That doesn't always do the trick, but at least I try. Even when I went to Palm Springs for my first appointment with the oncologist, they asked me if I had changed my first name from Mary to Susan. For some odd reason, they either had my SS# wrong, or Mary's SS# put in as mine.... what are the odds of that?
Then the oncologist in Havasu kept getting me confused with another patient that started a couple weeks before I did. He would ask me about symptoms that I had "complained about during chemo". No, that was Rosie, we sat next to each other, but I didn't acquire the same symptoms. Then the lab got me mixed up with the other Susan when we both had blood drawn on the same day... again what are the odds? When I went to the OB doctor, they pulled the wrong chart.... twice. I don't even know if they found my old chart. I did okay at the surgeon's office, but he did have the nurse set up the ultrasound machine last time I came in. He never used it, so I am thinking that he forgot that he did a bilateral mastectomy??? Who knows... I didn't ask. Then when I went last week to see the gastroenterologist, he asked me if I just had surgery and had been in the hospital the week before and if I was friends with somebody he knew. He thought he knew me from somewhere. Is there really another bald female walking around town that looks like me? (Maybe that is a good thing)
To top it off, when I got my flowers on the last day of chemo, they had crossed out the name "Julie" and put "Susan"... great, even they don't know who I am.
Sooo.... this is my theory: Getting breast cancer was because of mistaken identity. When the "Cancer Fairies" were sprinkling cancer cells into people, they probably got the wrong address. Maybe it was when we were building our house, and we had to stay in a friends rental. We moved in before she was completely moved out, so maybe they didn't know that she moved to Las Vegas. Are you supposed to leave a forwarding address for Cancer Fairies? Or, it could be that there are three houses next to ours that look very similar, and if you drive by at night, it is really hard to tell them apart. Maybe they don't have very good night vision. Whatever it is, I just hope they don't accidentally find me again.
Just FYI- these are the things that I lay in bed and think about at 1:am after a hot flash when I can't sleep.