Are you Kidding me?!!!

I was so sure that everybody was correct when they kept telling me after my cancer was diagnosed... "a year from now you will have perfect boobs and this will all be behind you." Yeah right! I almost believed it.

I haven't blogged since my life has been so blissfully boring! Boring is good for me, bad for blogging. I started on Facebook just to post day to day "blah" stuff. I bet you already guessed that my boring life has produced a minor twist. My mom said, "I keep getting calls from everybody, maybe you should start blogging again." So here I am...

I was admitted to the hospital Monday, June 22 for left sided weakness. And this is how the story goes...
I was at a swim meet on Sunday and had some numbness in my left foot and I was a little tired. I really didn't think too much about it. I figured I had been out in the sun all day, and I was wearing sandals that I don't usually wear.I went to bed early on Sunday, and I woke up at around 4 a.m. on Monday. I did my usual routine, which is make coffee and go out to my shop to do some work. I messed around on the computer for a little bit, then started working on my decals around 5 a.m.. As I was working, I felt a twitch in my left eye and noticed that my jaw felt numb. I got up and looked in the mirror and noticed that they left side of my face was drooping. I went and woke up Mike. By the time I woke him up, it was starting to go away and my smile was returning to normal. I wasn't quite sure that I wanted to rush to the Emergency Room, so I called a friend that is an ER doctor and asked his opinion. He asked me a few questions and told me that I should be seen that day. Shortly after I got off the phone with him, I had another episode of left sided facial droop. This time Mike was awake and noticed it. We decided to head to the ER.

I checked into the ER around 6 a.m. and they actually got me in fairly quickly. Luckily they weren't too busy. The doctor did an assessment and noticed a left side deficit. He ordered a CT, MRI, EKG, Carotid Dopler, Chest X-ray and bloodwork. It all came back negative, so they admitted me to hospital for observation. They assumed I had a TIA. I was admitted around 9 a.m. to the 3rd floor. The ER doctor had ordered 4 baby aspirin to decrease my chances of having a full stroke. The only problem is that I never got the aspirin. The ER nurse had documented that I got the aspirin, but it was never given to me. I can kind of understand them not believing me, but Mike was with me the entire time and knew that I never got any medication in the ER. So, I never did get the 4 aspirin. I was admitted by the Hospitalist, who was very pleasant, but was a bumbling idiot. I couldn't believe he was actually an M.D.. Maybe he would have done better if he would have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. They did notify the neurologist for a consult.

They ordered numerous tests, including a complete cardiology work up, checked my thyroid. I had another CT and a TEE, which checks for clots or holes in the heart. Everything came up negative. I was released on Tuesday and put on blood thinning meds, anti-seizure medication and another med for cholesterol.

I am still having periods of left side weakness and facial droop. I am going for an EEG today and will be following up with a specialist in Phoenix. Hopefully I will have some answers soon.

Cutest Little Lizard!

Isn't this the cutest lizard ever? It was on the neighbor's wall.

Yesterday I tried to get a picture of a couple of coyotes walking down the street, but I wasn't able to grab my camera fast enough... Do we live in the desert or what?!!

A Little Less Than Perfect

It is hard to explain why I am not completely happy with my final surgery. It isn't that it doesn't look good. They do look good, but I wanted perfect. I know better than to expect perfect, but after going through a year of hell, I figured I might get a little more than "good".

I came up with an analogy (mostly for guys) for those of you that don't quite get where I am coming from.... so here it is...

Let's say you decided that one year from now you are going to enter a triathlon. You want more than anything to win, and you figure it is an obtainable goal. You are willing to do whatever it takes to win, so you get a professional trainer and start training every day. You change your diet and eat nothing but healthy natural foods, you avoid fast food and turn down yummy desserts.

The day of the race finally comes, and you are expecting great things from yourself, because you know you have worked hard to achieve your goal. As you are warming up on your bike, you crash and bend your derailleur. The derailleur is hanging a little lower than it should, so the bike mechanic says that he can fix it, or you can use your mountain bike as a backup, but your mountain bike has two flat tires, and even if you fixed them, it would be slow. You decide that you will have them try to fix the derailleur. It is fixed, but the bike mechanic says don't put too much pressure on it when you are switching gears, because it might break again.
You aren't super happy, but at least you are still in the race. After all that, your trainer comes up to you a hands you a thong. You look at him like he has lost his mind. "What is this for?" you ask.
"That is for the swim portion of the triathlon" he replies. "It will help keep everything in place, and make you swim faster."
You are a little on edge because of the bike problem, so you understandably throw it at his head and tell him to wear the &%*@ dental floss.
The race finally starts and you finish with a really good time, but you didn't win. You are a little pissed off because it was your goal to win and you didn't, therefore you lose.

The End.

So, even though the twins look good, they aren't perfect. I am sure that I will get over it, but it just seemed like for an entire year I was looking towards this one "goal" and I didn't reach it. Normally I wouldn't care whether or not I even had breasts. It really isn't about the boobs. It is more about looking forward to getting something, then being told you can't have it.... "I know you REALLY wanted this Harley Davidson, but will the 250 Honda Scooter work for you?"

Do you get it?!!!

All Done...

The surgery went well, I was home by 1pm. I didn't have any pain, except for a sore throat from the anesthesia... go figure. Maybe if I had a little pain, I would slow down a bit. It is hard to stay still when it doesn't hurt. I didn't swim, bike or run, I just did a 4 mile walk... I want to go easy.

So, hopefully everything will stay where it is supposed to, and I can get back to "normal" in a month or so.

I am getting my chemo port out on Monday, then I have a follow-up visit with the oncologist in March, from there, I guess it will just be occasional check ups, blood work and MRIs.

Surgery Day

I am going in this morning at 5am for what will hopefully be the final surgery. I can't have coffee, so I am sitting here with a cup of coffee grounds, that I lift up and occaisionally inhale.... hey whatever works, right?

Since I ripped the one side out, and it feels to me like it is hanging down to my belly button, the plastic surgeon will be using a "lift kit" to try to bring it up and try to make it even with the other side. The physician looked at me and said "Susan, it isn't hanging down to your belly button." He proceeded to get a ruler and measure the distance it was off from the other one. It was about an inch, but it seems to me more like 3 feet. He said that one of the options would be to lower the left side to match the right side. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!??? This is the only thing that I have had to actually look forward to throughout the entire year, that I was going to get new improved boobs, and you are telling me to compromise.... NO FLIPPING WAY!
I was ready to rip it out and start over if that is what it was going to take, but he said that he though he could do a decent job of bringing the left side up. He said it is more difficult, but doable.

So, I guess you consider it as my water breaking! (You know, get it? The expanders are filled with water) And I will be bringing home the twins today. I will have to let you know if they are colicky.

Oh, and one more thing.... the doc banned me from any strenuous physical activity for 6 WEEKS! No Swimming, running, biking.... he said I could walk. He said that he tells most of his patients 2 weeks, but for some crazy reason, he thinks I would over do it.... hmm, wonder why?

Happy 12th Birthday Hailey

This is for Hailey...

Helga and Gertrude...

I am going to have my FINAL reconstructive surgery on February 10, 2009, almost one year to the date that I found my "lump". I have decided that I am going to name my new implants Helga and Gertrude, then I can lovingly refer to them as "the twins".

I have been checking out sizes, so now when somebody asks what size I am getting, I look at them and say "Yours look good, can I see them?" ... this only works when it is a female asking me the question. (Most of the time anyway, I have seen a few guys that have bigger breasts than I do.) I have even asked a couple people to come to the office with me, so I can say "this is what I want". I can't believe they turn me down.

I am really ready to be done with spending my life in a doctor's office. It isn't that I don't like my doctors, I do, but I really hate waiting in the office, especially if I don't have a really good book... which brings me to my vision...

My eyesight in the last year went for "so so", to "why do they write things this small?" I got my eyes checked, and she said I need "readers"... What? That is what OLD people wear! I guess I am going to have to give in and get some. I think purple with yellow polka-dots would be nice.

Next time I write, hopefully I can tell you about the new "twins". :)